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Devaki Sokaris

Live the life your soul wants

About Devaki

This is a concise story of my life and how I got where I am today.

My life hasn’t been much of a smooth ride. It took a lot of inner work, spiritual growth, hope and persistence to get where I am today.

The unravelling of myself to get to the simple was not simplistic. As a result, I was challenged to let go of people, places, material things, and change in ways that I never imagined.

This is a back story thus decades old so please appreciate I have had plenty of time to transmute all the emotions associated with it thus I have evolved.

There are many things I did not put in this article because my aim is not to write a book or to focus on the past but to show why I am where I am now and give hope to others in choosing to grow from their challenges rather than live their lives through the lenses of their pain.

It isn't always necessary to tell others your story when you are already living proof of your transformation as people can already sense you’ve grown from many things. I didn't tell my story until 2019 because I didn’t need to, and still don’t. I am at peace with my past and share my story now for others not myself.

Through some insight into my life journey, may I inspire you to not be afraid to grow through your suffering, discover the true essence of who you are, and the gifts you came to share with the world.

Join the conversation or read other people’s perspectives on this article on LinkedIn.

Mentoring ^

Over the last 35 years I have been on a personal and spiritual growth journey and during the last twenty-five years I have worked with people one on one.

I started mentoring others about 10 years into my journey because you cannot help others unless you have already transformed from your past enough as a result, and you are able to then deconstruct the wisdom so you can explain it to people. Experience isn’t wisdom, it is only when you have truly understood your suffering you have wisdom.

My clients did not know my story, many of them were drawn to me because they felt an instant trust with me that I would take good care of their hearts and would know how to help them. A sad story which I have isn’t helpful to anyone if I have not transformed myself from it to impart anything that helps people understand themselves.

I used my own technique of life purpose mentoring and intuitive counselling to help people see why they are where they are now and what to change to gain control of their lives, so I have worked with people for both personal and business issues. Often one feeds into the other.

When I work with people, I am always focused on what is highly relevant to what they need to move forward so my intuition is a big tool in fast tracking information that helps a person understand why they are where they are now and what they need to change to gain control of their lives.

I help people understand the implications of what is discovered about their life path and explored strategies with them for handling those, rather than dump a whole lot of information on them that they had to go away and make sense of by themselves.

As of 2019, I am no longer available for private mentoring, and its uncertain if I will return to it in a professional capacity. I now focus my energies on conveying my insights through the medium of writing to help people know themselves, source their own wisdom and live the life they came to live.

Read what some of my past clients have said in their testimonials.

Abilities ^

Over the course of my life I have discovered many things about the gifts I came into this life with, and some were awakened in later life.

I view myself as having a bunch of skills and abilities that complement each other. I am highly intuitive and have always been aware of it since childhood. My intuition has been a valuable tool in bringing insight and clarity in my writing and private mentoring and consulting.

I have skills and abilities in personal growth mentoring, intuitive counselling, self-awareness, higher intuition, meditation, spiritual healing, guided imagery and a past background in nursing, fitness instruction, remedial massage, weight loss consulting and flower essence production. I am also a singer song writer and recording artist.

My philosophy ^

My philosophy is simple. We are here to become who we truly are. Compassion and being real matter most to me.

I believe in not wasting energy on what isn’t important by living in the present, rather than dwelling in the past where one cannot materially change anything.

I’m not here to tell others how to live their life or what to believe in as that is there’s to choose but if I will distance myself from those you are toxic to my wellbeing and path.

I am here to help others see they are much more than they think they are and through sourcing their own wisdom they can evolve to their best self.

I live my life walking my talk as best I can and have lived and learned from a very challenging life so believe I have something of value to pass on if one resonates with my insights.

Wisdom is earned through overcoming challenges and transforming your suffering into understanding that you can effectively convey to others. It comes from being able to effectively self-evaluate and source your own wisdom, through self-awareness, the willingness to change, compassion and understanding of humanity and the planet at large. In the end, if transformation has not taken place, there is no right use of knowledge and thus no wisdom.

In the beginning ^

I was born and raised in New Zealand and came to Australia in 1977 when I was 19 years old. I later went back to New Zealand to live in early 1990 but returned to Australia in November 1991, where I have lived ever since.

I wasn’t very grounded for a good part of my life and this was mostly due to being highly intuitive-sensitive and the hostile environment I was living in, so I would not be present when I couldn’t deal with what was happening around and to me.

I came into this world placid and with a good sense of purpose and connection to something bigger than myself. My placid nature was to be short lived as I merged into school age living with an abusive mother. I learned I can’t control other people’s behaviour so was destined to suffer the abuse as no one was stepping in to protect me from it.

As a result, I developed low self-esteem, anxiety, irritable bowel, OCD and lived in constant fear of her actions so much that I would change my behaviour often in an attempt not to provoke her in any way which wasn’t terribly successful because her triggers were not predictable.

Given some of my fears were very real it was hard to separate the illusion of what was real fear between what was an illusion of the truth, so anxiety was a constant in my life. I became more highly strung on edge and nervous.

When I was 16 my mother suffered a massive brain haemorrhage caused by an aneurism for which she survived with a long path to recovery. Following that she was never violent again, but she was different. I believe her underlying health condition was most likely provoking her behaviour all those years.

Most of the abuse was directed at me and sometimes my father so my younger brother escaped much of it but grew up angry at his witness to it all. My father was a kind man and non-abusive, but he did not protect me from this behaviour behaving more like a victim to it nor did he feel to have my mother checked out. I won’t go into the whole family dynamic here because my aim was just to highlight the source of my anxiety and mental health issues not to write a book.

My mother and I never spoken about her abuse and I’m not even sure what she can recall about those first 16 years of my life because after these bouts of physical and emotional abuse she would behave like she had blacked out for a moment and nothing had happened. It was like a violent storm in a tea cup which caused much damage.

Since then we have had an on and off relationship where we have gone for many years without interaction by her choice. She would often create something to be annoyed about to sabotage and has done that with other family and friends as well. We have not spoken since 2005.

I have long forgiven her and do not feel traumatized or a victim to the past. I am fine whether she wants me in her life or not, as I am not attached to seeing her either way. As far as I know she lives alone since my father’s death in 2011 which I discovered one year after he has died. My mother has chosen not to inform me of both my grandmother’s and my father’s death, or anyone else in the family.

Health ^

I had a lot of sickness growing up and believe a lot of this has had to with anchoring me in the physical and experiencing what’s real. I had numerous bouts of tonsillitis, strep throats, viruses and swollen glands until I was 25 years old.

At 17 during my nursing training I developed colitis and was admitted to hospital a couple of times over that year. I believe it was brought on by trauma and anxiety. It eventually settled but I ended up with irritable bowel syndrome for the rest of my life and over the years I haven’t been able to tolerate many more food’s so my diet has become quite bland.

On my 21st birthday I fell down a flight of stairs and sprained both my ankles quite badly and was in a wheelchair for a couple of weeks. No, I wasn’t drunk I was on my way to work and the light in the staircase to my flat wasn’t working so I couldn’t see properly.

Later that year I contracted glandular fever for which I was also hospitalized. It took me quite some time to recover from this and I also had a relapse after 6 months.

I’ve had two broken tibias one when I was 14 and the other when I was 54 years old. In 1990 I sustained a severe back injury and cervical disc lesion following an accident while nursing which ended my nursing career.

All these health issues predisposed me to being diagnosed with fibromyalgia and debilitating chronic fatigue in 1992 which I still live with today.

In hindsight this explains a lot about feeling so fatigued most of my life. The important thing was I learned to understand what this was teaching me about who I was and what I needed to overcome despite the limitations I lived with.

My physical condition of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue was diagnosed some 25 years ago, and I have had plenty of time to exam all possible avenues of treatment and rehabilitation.

Unfortunately, many aspects of my illness are currently untreatable. My condition is chronic and severe. I of course continue to experiment with many things and stay up to date with what medicine may offer in the future along with alternative medicine.

I accept my illness, but I would be lying if I said I was always at peace dealing with debilitating fatigue and chronic pain daily.

Growing up ^

Growing up, I didn’t want to live the life I was told to because I felt it wasn’t my purpose so was conveniently named as rebellious, and difficult which made it even harder to be myself.

Being an introvert, I think deeply about many things, I have always liked to spend more time on my own than with people and that hasn’t changed.

I preferred to sit in communication with my inner rather than spend time with other people. It wasn’t that I didn’t have friends, more that I felt like I didn’t fit in anywhere and was often reminded by others that I didn’t fit into what they viewed as normal, so I preferred the solitude of being by myself.

I was made fun of and ridiculed for much of my childhood into teenage years by authority figures and even today people undermine my worth.

As a child I learned to be quiet to protect myself from more ridicule so for many years I felt alone and misunderstood. People just seemed to be invested in not understanding me and being so young I didn’t understand what I needed to learn from that.

Adult ^

I knew when I was nine years old that I was to become a nurse when I left school, and I did that for the first 20 years of my working life. I felt compassion for those who were sick and, in some way, wanted to ease their suffering if I could.

As a young 17-year-old nurse I was faced with a lot of challenges around my intuitive sensitivity as it became more heightened in a hospital environment. I knew when emergencies were about to happen, and I could sense others pain and suffering. I did not deal with this very well and became more anxious but couldn’t talk about it to anyone for fear of judgement.

When I was nearly 27 years old, I lived through 3 life changing challenges only a few months apart in the same year and s a result I had a major breakdown.

Firstly, my boyfriend whom I lived with for 4 years ended our relationship a week after we became engaged. I took it very badly. A few months later my younger and only brother was killed in a car accident at the age of 23 and a few days later my grandfather was admitted to hospital and died within a couple of days of kidney cancer which no one was aware he had.

I was in such a state of grief I wasn’t able or in any condition to put myself on a plane and attend my brother’s funeral. At the time I had not long moved in with two friends since I broke up with my fiancé. It seems no one was able to help me get on a plane to be with my family. Two months later I went back to New Zealand to spend time with family.

A few months later I was driving to work, and a pedestrian ran out in front of my car. I performed CPR which revived him but unfortunately, he died in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

After this and the loss and the grief I was already experiencing I wasn’t sure if I would make it through so for quite some time, I battled with wanting to die and had suicidal thoughts often. I wouldn’t eat much and became anorexic losing a great deal of weight. Even though the car accident was not my fault, I couldn’t deal with the fact that I had still killed someone.

Later down the track I had to attend a coroner’s court for 3 days in a row while they decided a compensation pay out for his wife and 5 children. This created me to spiral down even further. Even though it wasn’t a criminal court as I hadn’t dome anything wrong, I was considered a witness because I was driving the car.

I started seeing a grief counsellor and was taking medication for a few months to get me through. During this process I realized I was also finally willing to deal with my childhood abuse issues as well.

Purpose ^

For me, living life with purpose has been about the journey. It was important to me in healing that I pursued it through a spiritual path which has given me a great sense of self-awareness and a better understanding of humanity, and the world around me.

Every challenge I have experienced has urged me to do the inner work required to understand the true essence of who I am. I came to realize I was much more than I thought I was. I am living to the best of my ability the life I came here to live.

Spiritual path ^

I was always interested in spirituality and had a sense of my soul. My trauma was the trigger for my spiritual awakening. I wanted to discover more seriously who I am, and what I came here to do, learn, and experience. My spiritual path and spiritual inner work are and has been the main healer in my life the past 35 years.

I followed Buddhism for many years along with a few years in Siddha yoga. I later settled into Maitreya Buddhism and theosophy in 1995 where I am still today.

Following this path has cost me the loss of family, and many friends. People should never tell you who you should be, and one of the reasons why I have privately consulted with many people over the last 25 years to help them discover who they are. I am grateful for what life has taught me even though I have had some very painful experiences.

Present ^

No matter where we are on our journey, we are all a work in progress.

I am a high functioning person who lives with anxiety, debilitating chronic fatigue and fibromyalgia.

Why do I have these conditions despite my growth? Its because they are part of my growth. Evolving oneself through spiritual growth and psychology can bring a lot of challenges to the inner life which can cause some to develop mental, emotional and physical conditions.

How long these take to heal depends on how long it takes to deal with the major issue that one is healing in the present life thus one may or may not overcome the physical consequences for the rest of their life.

Devaki Sokaris
Life and soul growth mentor-advocate-writer,
Highly intuitive, Singer songwriter:

Colour portrait of Devaki

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