Anxiety

Embracing anxiety allows us to understand what it is teaching us about ourselves, thus accepting it is part of who we are and what we came here to learn from.

I speak from my own experience and observation of others with anxiety, and the understanding I have also gained myself, having lived with general and social anxiety most of my life. Many people will experience some form of anxiety in their life. However, when it is there regularly when there is no apparent threat to one’s life, it can have a debilitating effect on well being.

It’s easier to deal with short term anxiety as its usually transitional, but many autistic people have chronic general anxiety because they have trauma and are often trauma survivors. When we have chronic anxiety, it is a constant state and very difficult to manage. Analysing the reason when this is a constant is only more triggering. This type of anxiety is ongoing and fuelled with intrusive thoughtforms which are exhausting.

Its’ is a constant feeling of uneasiness that you want to escape from. Dissociation from the debilitating effects of chronic anxiety is common and many of us spend our days running around in circles to try and escape what we are feeling. Couple this with being autistic and it’s not a good outcome.

Everyone throws the same management plans for us, mindfulness, CBT etc all of which don’t work for many autistic people. Honestly, I don’t even get peace when I sleep as my dreams are anxiety fuelled rubbish. I am 66 and I have had anxiety everyday most of my life and don’t know what it feels like to not have anxiety. I have tried so many things to get relief and now spend most of life as a recluse.

Anxiety can present as fear, restlessness, unable to focus, insomnia, being irritated, panic attacks and much more. It can make a person feel like they are alone in what they experience. Some who suffer anxiety may never be without it thus it can be there all the time to some degree. Anxiety is personal and differs between people. It takes a lot of courage and energy to push through when the impact is challenging but it can show a person what they need to improve and grow from.

I believe there is a hidden gift in what anxiety can teach a person as it’s not anxiety that is the real issue but rather something else that is calling for attention. Repressing anxiety is not a good option because it will just persist as it has its own agenda to complete. Identifying our own internal toolkit allows more awareness of ourselves so can help a great deal with anxiety, because we can then respond to what is needed rather than our preconceptions of what’s real.

Some may be able to overcome trauma thus feel no physical or emotional pain from the events which initially triggered the anxiety. However, many don’t get that far. Even after we may have overcome the physical and emotional components of trauma, we may still carry a byproduct of that trauma, being the pattern of uncertainty that triggered the anxiety. So, it may present in other things not related to past trauma. As a result many could experience anxiety for the rest of their life trying to to break the pattern of that uncertainty.