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Devaki Sokaris

Contemplating life

Autism and identity

We live in a world that was made for extroverted allistic people, and for people with Autism trying to fit into this world is exhausting.

Society has a habit of boxing people and then forgetting them. I have seen the harm these projections have done to many people over 25 years of mentoring neurodivergent individuals, as they have tried to fit into a world that was not made for them.

We do not have superpowers and the term superpowers is an over-the-top term for strengths in life. The term superpower relates to marvel comic books and superheroes, and this nonsense has become perpetual on social media to convince people this is what makes us stands out, when it only creates an illusion of what’s real.

Many of us have carried shame from early in life and have taken on labels like I have superpowers, and pride to seek acceptance from others. Acceptance doesn’t have anything to do with superpowers, or pride. Calling ourselves these names has more to do with the emotional reaction to how society has badly treated us.

Even though autists may share traits, they are are also diverse with their own unique traits and qualities, and all have their own experience and expression as a person. We don't discover ourselves by looking for an identity in others or follow the trends and boxes people like to put us in. This path only takes us away from ourselves and will later likely fuel more anxiety as the illusion is realised.

Support isn’t telling people we are not alone because we walk our paths alone. However, those who support us in walking our own path are supportive to our journey. Those who do not support us are best distanced from. Other autistic people may have empathy for us because they understand the struggles in daily life autistic face everyday, and ones that are often dismissed by society, but they also do not walk in our shoes so cannot know what we are experiencing or feeling.

Giving people unrealistic labels doesn’t allow them to discover who they are. I am pretty sure this superpower concept didn’t start in the neurodivergent community, but rather from the personal growth industry projecting we must have superpowers to be worthy in society. I do not apologise for saying this is a load of nonsense.

Living a meaningful life isn’t about having false glamour's about ourselves to make us feel special. It only creates an illusion of what's real and fuels more pressure to mask thus not real. It creates sensory overload, anxiety, and more meltdowns. Following our own hearts allows us to discover who we are with more clarity and understanding.


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