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Devaki pondering [transparent edges]

Being human

Being you

Compassion and empathy

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Empathy and compassion tend to go hand in hand, but we can have compassion without feeling empathy. Lack of empathy does not necessarily equal they don’t care about people.

Without wisdom compassion has no boundaries, thus it is about showing love and kindness while knowing people are responsible for their own lives. It does not mean we support their behaviour, but rather we allow them to have their own experiences without attachment. This means we have compassion for their suffering, not their actions.

Compassion is wisdom of the heart. it is loving kindness that is guided from the higher self and acts for the good of all. True compassion is not manifested out of wanting to help those who have less than us, but rather from the realisation we are one with all beings. Much of compassion is more about our state of being rather than physically doing, thus it does not always require one to act on their feelings of compassion, as it can be more about intent and approach to life.

A compassionate heart treats all even handed. We often recognise those with compassion in their hearts, not by what they are doing so much, but by the essence of their energy and being. People are often drawn to others that radiate that energy in their hearts, because they feel included in their universal heart.

Compassion is often confused with empathy. Empathy is more about putting ourselves in the place of another thus to understand. Compassion is more about wanting to help ease suffering. We are all here to learn compassion and the developing of it brings inner peace to many on the planet.

Empathy is about being able to put ourselves in someone else’s shoes, so we can feel what they might be feeling. We don’t know what someone else is feeling, even if we have have gone through something like them, thus we are only projecting what they may be feeling. Compassion is about seeing someone’s emotions, and them wanting to help them.

Emotional empathy can burn us out as when we feel or take on someone else’s pain, it can cloud us in being able to help or support others. Sometimes when we empathise it can trigger our own pain, and then we in it and not with them so it goes from empathy to sympathy. When we embrace our shared humanity, we are displaying compassion and compassion is all that matters. It is the only way to end the separateness in the world. We don’t need to feel someone else’s pain to care about them or their suffering.

Cognitive empathy is being able to read peoples facial expressions, understand emotions and how other people think and feel. Emotional empathy involves feeling another person's motions. I have emotional empathy, but my cognitive empathy isn’t’ great, because I have difficulty in reading gestures and facial expressions as well as responding with the appropriate expression.

Empathy is a nice to have but it does sometimes fuel burnout, as spending a lot of time feeling other people’s emotions can overwhelm us and drain our energy. It can also make us feel helpless, fuel guilt, and cause social withdrawal. Compassion can also fuel this and what is known as compassion fatigue.

Many people in medical or health care like nurses, counsellors, therapists, ambulance etc are exposed to other people’s suffering for long periods of time are subject to compassion fatigue. We must learn to take a step back when we have overcompensated by taking on too much and set good boundaries, so we can better look after our own mental and physical wellbeing.

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