Knowing ourselves

No one knows us better than we do is true but not entirely. Other people are mirroring back to us things we may reject because we are not ready to see them.

When we become attached to outcomes it can lead us down paths that derail us from our true selves. Sometimes people do this for years, and I have seen it in many decades of mentoring people. One of the things that causes people the most suffering is their attachment to outcomes. We need to become very at good discerning whether people are trying to support our best interest or are trying to derail us from becoming who we truly are. That cannot happen if we don’t get out of the way of ourselves, so we can see things how they are rather than how we are.

We are all on that journey and are our lessons are different. Some people learn quicker than others and some take many detours to get there. It is never luck when our dharma falls into place. This why I say don’t tell people they are lucky because luck doesn’t have anything to do with it, because we have already earned it by seeing many of the signposts and have been more aware of the journey we have been taking, rather than focusing on an unrealistic goal. I am not a fan of the coaching industry for many reasons. I have never been interested in becoming a coach nor have I ever been to one.

We know ourselves until we don’t. It doesn’t mean we have the awareness of many things and what the world around us is trying to teach us. Roadblocks don’t necessarily mean we should keep trying to push boulders out of the way when they may mean change direction. Our personalities always want what they want but our true selves know what’s best for us and will keep trying to guide us in this way if we are listening.

Focus on your strengths is one of the perpetual one trick pony platitudes the coaching industry has on offer. Coaching is all about goals being the be all but many of them have no idea what makes people tic. Mentoring in my opinion is far more nurturing, and I had my own methods for mentoring that didn’t fit with mainstream mentoring thinking, thus I am not conventional in my approach to most things. Also, many autistic people are gestalt language processors, so they are mostly bottom-up thinkers.

I write to help people live a meaningful life on their own terms. I write for both neurotypical and neurodivergent people because I understand well how they both navigate purpose in life and have mentored both neurotypes for decades. I walk my own path and don’t need anyone to validate it. The main issue I have had in life is being extremely sensitive to the outside world, and the crippling impact complex trauma and anxiety has had on my life due to repeated abuse for being autistic. As I have aged my ability to deal with this is increasingly harder thus my withdrawal from the outside world.