Right relationships

People have free will to act as they want. It is through the consequences of their actions they grow. Interfering with other people’s paths can disrupt their learning lessons and deflect from ours.

We may be sent to help someone on their path, but it’s important to be aware when it’s time to leave them to grow. We are not there to influence the outcomes we think are best for them, so must be unattached to how they move forward. It’s not only important to learn to get out of our own way, but also recognise when we need to get out of the way of others so they may navigate their own paths.

Wisdom is knowing where to give and when it’s time to move on. Some people have the tendency to overreach in their help for others, and then expect something in return.

Make sure your motives are pure of heart as it creates consequences when the giving was given with the intent of eventually receiving something back from the recipient. It says the giving was conditional, not sincere. If you’ve ever felt you owe someone by their good deeds towards you, it probably means you do. Giving to others without expectation of anything in return is sincere, and what comes back will likely come from another form that brings value to the life. It’s best not to view giving and receiving as point scoring.

Our words are the channel for our energy but not the focus of what we already carry. For this reason, words are not always required because it is just part of our being thus our presence can be enough to lift another. Humility requires not talking about kindness towards others, but rather to just be the person that does it by the strength of their being, not their words.

‘What we put out we get back’ isn’t always the case. We may attract people who are not positive even though we are not be projecting any negativity. Sometimes people just lack self awareness.

This also can happen if the inner reality doesn’t line up with the outer reality, so it causes mixed messages from one’s energy. It could be due to when a person may be changing their own behaviour and hasn’t fully aligned or integrated it yet.

We can draw people to us that don’t take responsibility for their own actions, and don’t treat people with respect, because we may have something to teach them or learn from them about ourselves we were not aware of.

Manipulative people have a need to control their surroundings to feel safe. They often use their pain to get others to do what they want, so they feel in control of the situation.

This may hide in behaviours like a joke or they may make out they are trying to help someone with their advice. Therefore, many people don’t know they are being manipulated, because people are experts in using it in subtle ways to trick others.

Some use emotional manipulation to get people to do what they want, thus use other people and situations to justify that we should give them what they want. Others may try to rope us into giving them what they want by putting our hand up without asking, so to make us feel obligated in helping them. When they are confronted about their actions, they deny they meant anything by it or said they had questions they wanted answered.

Manipulative behaviour comes from people who believes they are entitled to what they want, and will go to whatever means to get it, as they are self-obsessed. Sometimes they will dish out ultimatums to try and gain a desired outcome they are happy with. They don’t know how to negotiate, so they do not own what they have contributed to the issue, or relationship dynamic.

Society has been trying to sell the illusion of unconditional love for decades.

Love is real between human’s, but it is conditional. True love is universal love thus an infinite light which shines on everything, thus love, loves no other than itself. No relationship is without conditions and rightly so, otherwise you would not have expectations that your partner does not have an affair with another person or meet the needs you feel should be met in a marriage, after all what are your vows other than promises and conditions.

If we were unconditional we would not have boundaries or state our needs and how we expect to be treated, thus we would accept how people behaved around us. It is when we have unrealistic expectations and conditions that we must take responsibility for our own lives. Having realistic conditions in a relationship makes for a stronger and healthier relationship.

It’s important to create healthy boundaries in life, and not allow others to put pressure on us to do things that fulfil their desires.

Some people wear other people’s baggage in their attempts to help people. There are also people who give because they want to feel needed, thus don’t feel good about themselves. Discerning is important so we know where and when to give. The best way to help someone and not be drained,is to obtain more awareness about our own emotional health by understanding our own emotions and feelings. Set boundaries and limits, and don’t be afraid to say, I can’t help you right now.

Learning to centre ourselves in stressful situations can help to ground us and filter out difficult emotions. Compassion helps to calm overwhelming emotions and feelings towards others and ourselves. Many will adjust their boundaries depending on what they need. However, there are those who will over-reach and give in to pressure until they have the self-realization of their own needs. Some people may need to experiment with this to see where their boundaries lie.

Our thoughts can often be clouded by emotions so a person can often be confused about the best way forward. Any relationship has lessons for both parties.

People come in many shades thus we will see them differently as we get to know them, and what they allow us to see. Sometimes it just takes time to see a person for who they truly are, as our perceptions allows us to be open, and willing to see the truth rather than what we want to see. Relationships where one’s values or path in life is too divergent from the other usually do not work in in the long term, thus both parties were put to together for specific lessons that had shorter use by date.

Sometimes people just need to move on, but humans have difficulty in end cycling so find reasons to be angry to leave instead, so they can justify ending the relationship, when things could have been much simpler. If we are put in a position to compromise our values a lot to keep a relationship, then a decision must be made. People come and go from our lives as we evolve which is how it is supposed to happen. The truer we become to ourselves the less friends we make, because other often want us to be somebody else that fits in with their agenda or life.

Most of the issues people have in end-cycling relationships is their attachment to the past, thus not accepting the relationship has taken it course. We can give people a safe place to be better, but we cannot control or change them. Even though they may recognize what they need to change, they may not succeed because their own inner conflicts are too great, which requires them to focus on themselves.

There are times in life we must get out of the way of ourselves and others, so we can get on with our own journey, and they can get on with theirs. Sometimes we must leave their lives, so they can have a better chance of moving forward, because they are not good for us, and we cannot help them.