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Devaki Sokaris

Live the life your soul wants

Talking about ouselves

Can we communicate without making it personal?

We all have our own unique path which can't be learned from someone else's experiences or the steps they took in life.

Until our own challenges in life have been overcome and understood, transformation does not happen. Once transformation takes place, we are already the change. Transformation is evident in how we live our lives and what wisdom we share with others. That is what really helps people, rather than telling people about our experiences in life.

I do not not talk about myself very much to people in general and keep most things close to my heart. I also do not like to be the centre of attention. I have an open and approachable nature so people have always been drawn to me. For this reason I have attracted people who felt entitled to use me as an emotional dumping ground and then call it friendship.

I learned to lay down strong boundaries but most would not respect them. As a result I have chosen not to have friends because it is not good for my mental health. I still dig deeper to understand what I have to learn from this because I am responsible for what happens to me, but I am at more peace without friends. I do like to spend most of my time on my own anyway.

I only like to talk to people one on one or no more than two people otherwise I will barely utter a word and go into shrinking violet mode. I struggle with social anxiety and being autistic I often don't know when it is my turn to speak so I remain silent.

I don't talk about my private life issues, as I view this as gossip. I find it difficult when people complain to me about other people in their lives. All they did was complain and did not take any responsibility for what they contributed to the relationship dynamic. This is probably why many shared their private stuff with me because they trusted me. However, I always told them to discuss this with the person not me.

There is only one person in my life that I really talk about myself to, so unfortunately for them they have been on the other end of my autistic patterns of going on about things due to sensory overload and anxiety.

Social media has always been a place where I have kept my personal life out of it, and rather shared in general. My truths are based on inner truth rather than my life experiences, which I believe is what's real. The truth is revealed within us, thus we must discover it from our experience, not our belief. However, I started to share a little more personal when I discovered I was autistic in 2021 at the age of 63, because I wanted to communicate with other autistic adults.

Some people like to tell other's a lot about what's going on in their heads. This is not my way but I am very open with what I am willing to share. I do not wear my heart on my sleeve, so I am not going to tell people everything that is going on in my head. I have chosen an inner journey to evolve. I only share publicly what I feel is needed, thus I do my best to filter what is relevant and important. Life is about discovery and it not for us to invalidate or undermine someone else's journey, and how they choose to take it, as we all have different lessons to learn from life.

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