Inner work
Inner work can be a path of both self-growth and awakening. Our worth is not measured by what people say to or think of us. It is an inner knowing that cannot be shaken by another person’s opinion.
Self-growth starts with self-awareness which is about being able to view ourselves from a detached perspective, so we can learn from what we have observed. Awakening to our real selves allows us to see the world around us from a different perspective as what we once believed about ourselves doesn't make sense anymore.
If we place a need for people to constantly tell us we good, we are never going to believe it much longer than the words said. The best way to improve self-worth is to overcome the false perceptions one has about themselves, so they can appreciate the value they bring to life.
There are people who come from a good up-bringing, yet they still have low self-worth issues, because they have negative perceptions about themselves. No matter how well we validate their worth, they don’t believe this of themselves. If we can find acceptance in who we are, it can be more possible to see the value we bring to ourselves and others.
We learn much of our patterns in early life and repeat them until we recognise them. I believe that in taking on these learned patterns, we take on the complexity of someone else’s dysfunction. We are constantly trying to get out of the way of ourselves and others, and as a result, we will need to evaluate often what does and doesn’t belong to us. People with self-worth issues tend to think there is something wrong with them and because of this, they may project things that are not real when they don’t get the response they want.
Inner work can help us change thoughts, feelings and actions, overcome trauma, resolve inner conflicts, self-limiting beliefs and recognise self-defeating behaviour patterns. Suffering is a great teacher, so a trauma or significant challenge can be the trigger for a person to dig deeper in understanding themselves. This experience may also leave them with illnesses physical, emotional and mental to learn from. Through suffering we are given the opportunity to know and understand ourselves better.
Awareness is not enough as we need to accept what we have learned about ourselves to move forward. Inner work requires commitment and patience over a long period of time. It strengthens the relationship with our real selves thus allowing us to live a life with more meaning and purpose. Inner work helps us identify our inner toolkit, so we can respond to what is needed rather than our preconceptions.
Identifying our own internal toolkit allows us more awareness of ourselves, how to improve and how to keep it that way. Growth through the heart enables us to remain open to change and as we attend to each challenge that arises more aspects of your true self can shine. Many people take a path of personal growth focusing much on the outer for self-improvement which doesn’t free them from inner conflicts. The only way to understand one’s true self is through inner work.
For many life will be focusing on the personality self and what they need. Self-awareness is the key to knowing ourselves and what we are experiencing now is the consequences of our past. The present is the only place healing can happen. Optimal healing for humans is not feeling any emotional upset from the past. This means that we have no emotional pain surrounding the past anymore, thus it could well be an observation from another person’s life. That’s a good place to be but many don't get there. This is largely due to attachment to a past identity and looking to be saved in the future.
Psychologists have an important role in mental illness. Their work is with the personality not the inner wisdom, so they will work with people to fulfil the personality person and what might work the best for their personality. This is the right path for those who have clinical illness and those who are experiencing a lot of inner conflicts because it could over stimulate their inner and lead to more serious issues. We are best to meet people where they are and not judge their so-called lack of evolving, as we do not know what they are learning from their lives to grow.
Digging deeper
△When we start looking deeper for answers, we must expect to discover some things that may not appear real straight away.
That means we will need to take time to think about these things. Making life changing decisions require us to make changes in our thinking, and actions over time. When ready it may be a good idea to make some notes about what to change, and what might need discussing with other people to help make those changes. However, it is best not to try and force others to be part of our process, but rather invite them on our journey.
Digging deeper helps us to understand why we are where we are now and obtain relevant insights into our situation so we can be in better control of our lives. It is in the choosing that decides the path we walk and what the outcomes will be as we are responsible for the life we choose. Knowing the path to take is one thing but change only happens when we attend to our inner garden.
Being in the present allows more awareness of what we are creating as the future is being decided by every decision made. The path is not always cryptic, it only appears that way when we have fixed ideas of how it should look. Our paths are not set-in concrete, but if we do not stay conscious of what we are creating, our vision becomes blurry.
No one changes without the willingness to face false perceptions about themselves or situation. Challenges build inner strength. The limitations we are faced with are, so we can focus on what we can do to change life for the better rather than what we cannot. There is often the tenancy for many to become victims to their own struggles rather than embrace the opportunity to transform themselves through difficulty.
Change makes most feel uncomfortable, but transformation doesn't come without change. Some people say they are willing to implement change, but they still try to control their situation. Resisting only causes more tension and the more we fight the harder we have to work at resisting, so it only wears us down and drains our energy. Being stuck is often a choice because we fear change so once our perspective changes opportunities and possibilities are often presented to change life for the better.